Making Lifestyle Changes - pt 2 - YLAM240017

SPEAKER A This programme presents ways to optimise health and wellbeing when considering lifestyle changes. Please consult with your health care provider to ensure they are suitable for you. SPEAKER B Hello and welcome. I'm Kaysie Vokurka. International best selling author, thought leader and social entrepreneur Bryant McGill once observed, if you want to live a new way, you have to start thinking that way. Your thoughts precede the lifestyle, not the other way around. We'll discuss more about this and how to successfully make lifestyle changes. Next. SPEAKER A This is your lifestyle as medicine, a production of 3ABN Australia television. SPEAKER B It's great that you've joined us as we learn more about how you can shape your lifestyle as medicine. Today, we are once again joined by health and lifestyle coach Lorenzo Berry as we continue to explore how to make lifestyle changes that last. Welcome, Lorenzo. Glad to have you back with us to share on this very important topic. SPEAKER C Thanks, Kaysie, once again, pleasure to be here. SPEAKER B Thank you so much. And, you know, last time we covered quite a lot of interesting things just starting out this exploration of understanding about making lifestyle changes. And we talked about, first of all, our hopes and fears and then just evaluating our lifestyle as a whole. And then we talked about things like our daily schedule and mapping that out so we understand how that is working and then even role models and looking for people who are living the success that we want to strive for. And so bringing all that together now, what is the path forward from here to find success in making a lifestyle change and reaching our goals for lifestyle? SPEAKER C Yeah, I guess I want to answer that, Kaysie, by giving an example of a potential goal that someone may have set. So they may have a desiree to drink green smoothies as part of their health plan. They want to have a green smoothie, but they've been struggling to implement it. And so they initially set out, if they smelled the smart framework, they may have said, well, I'm going to drink a green smoothie five days a week. And they've only found that they could do it two days a week. That's all they've managed to do over the last eight months. Two days a week is all they've been able to manage instead of the five. So it's often discouraging when we seem to fall so far short of what our intent or what our goal was. But as we see in this first picture, I just want to encourage people that we celebrate. It's important to celebrate. So rather than say, oh, there's three days in the week that I never took action towards my goal. There's two days in the week that I did. So just by looking at the progress that we've made in a positive frame is more empowering than beating ourselves up over the three days that we never. So when we talk about change and bringing things together, I just want to start today by saying, let's celebrate those times in which we've managed to get something right towards whatever goal it is that we've set. SPEAKER B Yeah. So really you're saying then that we need to, like we've talked about all these different ingredients that are coming together towards this change process. And another ingredient here is having really a positive outlook, isn't it? Focusing on the cup that's half full rather than half empty, if you know what I mean. Having this mindset as we go into the change process is going to, I guess, help drive us forward. That would be correct. SPEAKER C It is. I think there's been significant research done around motivation. And for those that have seen the first presentation that we spoke about, it's not information that many of us are lacking in behaviour change, it's the motivation. SPEAKER B Absolutely. SPEAKER C And so often we can self sabotage our own efforts with a negative view as we focus on what we haven't done rather than on what we have. So by being more positive about what we've already tried and how we're moving towards our goal, however close we are, sets us up for a much greater likelihood of being successful in reaching it. Just being positive about how we have progressed towards it. So it's really important that we celebrate. And so one of the first things I do with a coaching client would be, would talk about how have you been successful towards that goal since we last met? SPEAKER B Okay. SPEAKER C And we celebrate that together and we even set meaningful goals and meaningful points of celebration. What would be a meaningful way of celebrating whatever that goal was. And so that's determined by the individual. Okay, well, this would be meaningful for me in a way of celebrating. So that's really powerful to keep the positivity and to keep driving forward without change. SPEAKER B Yeah, because I guess that way people are feeling progress, you know, they weren't where they were before, they might not be where they ultimately want to go, but they're on that journey, they're moving, they're not stuck, so. SPEAKER C Well, that's right. I mean, there's the old saying, you know, a journey of a thousand miles starts with one step. SPEAKER B Yes, this is true. SPEAKER C So, you know, we keep the end in mind, but we celebrate the progress we've made towards that end. Yes, absolutely. And I think the other thing that we often, as people we don't do so well at is we try and do too much at once. And I just want to demonstrate this in the next picture. You know, if we come back to our life wheel, you know, and I deliberately had an unbalanced life wheel and so we've just pulled one segment out. You can see it's detached a little bit there. That's just to highlight it. You know, we're integrated beings. All of these make up who we are and other important factors in our life. But if we saw that we were lower in several areas, we often want to try and jump in and fix them all at once. We want to address everything at the same time. Oh, well, look, I'll be a much better person. I'll be a much happier person. Whatever sort of conversation goes on in our head as we look at our goals and say, I'm going to address this, this, this, and we want to come up with a smart goal to fix all of those. Well, it's too much. And so I just want to highlight one segment because we just want to focus on one aspect. And so whether it's three areas we ultimately want to work on, we're just going to choose one and start with that one area and begin to tap into the hopes and the fears that might surround current behaviours. That's going to help us understand how to keep moving forward, to get where we'd like to be from our own determination, maybe from a three to a seven or whatever the case may have been on how we weighted our life wheel. SPEAKER B Yeah. So really, I guess this is about the achievable aspect of a smart approach in any way. You know, just saying, okay, let's just focus on one at a time so that it doesn't get overwhelming. You're trying to shake your life upside down just to move forward kind of thing. Yeah. Is there a place for doing multiple at once or do you find it's always pretty well, always best to have just focus on one at a time. SPEAKER C Always one at a time. SPEAKER B Okay. SPEAKER C And even more than that, you know, just take a look at this picture and, you know, just for people who are viewing this, you know, just ask yourselves as we look at the picture, what comes to mind? What stands out to us? Yes, it's an apple. Okay. But other than an apple, what stands out to us? SPEAKER B One bite. I don't know if it's obvious. SPEAKER C That's right, Kaysie, it's one bite. SPEAKER B Yeah. SPEAKER C And so we just want to identify one area of our life to work on and we want to break that down even smaller into smaller steps or bites. You know, some of the leading thinkers in behaviour change talk about 1% for 1% improvement each day. And, you know, earlier we spoke about having an understanding of our rhyme and rhythm to our life, our daily schedule or routine. And so we're looking at behaviour change, including it in the routine. It's not necessarily about trying to find more time to do something. This is about changing what we do and understanding why we're changing and celebrating, like we said just a moment ago, about the success we've made towards who we want to be, but not taking too big a step at once, not trying to bite off more than we can chew. SPEAKER B Yeah, yeah. SPEAKER C So really the best pathway of being successful in, in making behaviours stick. SPEAKER B Yeah, yeah. So you mentioned about 1% change. Any suggestions on how we'd kind of track that? Is that just like a theoretical figure of 1% or like, how do you measure these mini steps in that sort of a point? SPEAKER C Yeah, look, I mean, that's a great question. How do you measure 1%? And look, I guess I really asked myself when I was first reading some of these leading thinkers, it's like, oh, 1%, what does that really look like? And so again, I guess drawing from an area in which I've done a considerable amount of lifestyle coaching relating to people quitting smoking, 1% that could be not even cutting back one cigarette a day, but cutting back a fraction of a cigarette a day. So it becomes measurable, is going to obviously change depending on what behaviour change we're looking for. But something, you know, we talk about, a fraction of a cigarette becomes something that's quantifiable, it's measurable, and, you know, the individual can say, okay, yeah, well, that's it. And, you know, there was a variety of means. They may have drawn lines on their cigarette and say, well, I'm going to smoke to that line and then I'm going to stamp it out or I, you know, if they rolled their own, we're just going to make them shorter, whatever the case may be. But they had ways of reducing what was keeping them in a one frame, one mode of behaving that was preventing them from getting towards their goal and incrementally moving them towards that goal. SPEAKER B Yeah. So I guess then the principle of that point is that we're looking for the smallest step possible within this goal that we can actually achieve that we can also actually, I guess, quantify, somewhat manage measure, so that we can see if we have done even that itty bit that we have made some progress. SPEAKER C Absolutely, absolutely. And, you know, frequency of action. And this is why it's important that we look at our daily habits. They're the things that reflect who we are. And so we have to take control of those daily habits in order to move us forward to where we'd like to be, to becoming the person that we'd like to become. So maybe I'll borrow something from the fitness industry. I guess in my early time in the fitness industry was mostly coaching people around weight loss. And so for some clients, it was a case of it was too difficult to weigh themselves on a daily basis, which was recommended at the time, but to get the scale from out of the cupboard to the bathroom where they would use it, that was a success. SPEAKER B Wow. SPEAKER C So it was a concrete action that moved them towards where they'd like to be, but they had to take an action that facilitated it easier to take the next step. Does that make sense? SPEAKER B Yeah. So this might even be an action that's relating to the key one that you're trying to make, but it's just smoothing the path for it, so to speak, that even just smoothing the path is a success. SPEAKER C Absolutely. And we celebrate that. SPEAKER B Yeah, yeah, yeah. Interesting. Very interesting. Any other thoughts on how we can make this change process as realistic as possible? SPEAKER C Yeah, look, there's, I guess, a number of strategies, but I think what I'd like to say at this time is drawing from our thoughts about being positive is taking that to heart. Now, there's been a lot of people who talk about thinking positive and capturing the positivity in life, but this one I want to share. It's taken from the Bible. And modern researchers are finding new applications to this statement that was written thousands of years ago. And I'll just put it on the screen so the viewers can see it. It says, as a man thinketh in his heart, or so a woman thinketh in her heart, so are they. SPEAKER B Hmm. SPEAKER C So again, we want to drill down into those hopes and fears because that's who we are. They're part of who we are. And if we're ignoring them, if we're suppressing them, we're not going to reach a stage of flourishing. We're not going to reach a time that we're thriving in life. So, as we spoke in the previous session together, you know, it's a case of being confronted with them and accepting that that's part of who we have been. But to become who we are, we need to let some things go. And so when we're thinking about, how do I see myself? If we continue to see ourselves as someone who's, say, struggling with their weight or someone who's struggling with a nicotine addiction, it's a much more difficult. It's a whole lot harder to get them to quit smoking. It's a whole lot harder to get them to take positive action towards having more control over their weight because of the negative thoughts associated with it. So we've always encouraged people who try to quit smoking. You need to see yourself and write statements. Stick it on the fridge, I'm smoke free, wherever it might be. Put it on the mirror, put it on the bathroom door, wherever. You need to constantly remind yourself that you're smoke free. And so these external cues were put in place to help people change the way they think about themselves. SPEAKER B Hmm. SPEAKER C As long as you see yourself as a smoker, it's like, oh, it's gonna be a whole lot easier to smoke. As long as you see yourself as someone who struggles with a weight problem, then it's gonna be a whole lot easier to take control of that because you're telling yourself that you have a weight problem, you're telling yourself that you're a nicotine addict or whatever the case may be. So shifting the way we think within ourselves helps us move forward. SPEAKER B Yeah. Yeah, that's really interesting because that's sort of highlighting the fact that, I mean, often when we think about being realistic around our goals, we just think about purely the actions that we take. But you're really pointing out there that being realistic is also about being real with ourselves, on what we're actually thinking and where we need to tweak our thinking so that it's in line with the goal that we're wanting to make and with who we want to be and become. SPEAKER C Absolutely. And there's ways that we can monitor this, and maybe we just put it up on the screen again. We don't like kind of looking at the mirror at ourselves and sort of. And it takes a lot of energy to reflect on who we are and what our fears and what our hopes are. I mean, there's no shortcuts. We need to go through this process, and that's why we need to take some time, uninterrupted, quiet time, to do that. But to tune into how we see ourselves is a really cool strategy, is monitoring the words that we're using in our self talk and in our conversation with others. So for many of us, it's probably easier to monitor the language that we're using as we talk to other people, because that's coming out. And so we've got. I know what I'm wanting to say and I'm hearing myself say it. So we've got multiple senses giving us feedback as to what we're saying. And if we're not sure, we could just simply ask our friends, you know, what's my language been like? How have I been speaking? Have I been positive or am I negative? Am I, you know, constantly talking about the one topic, you know? And so having a sounding board is always, always a good idea as well. So we've got external, external conversations that we're having with people, then we've got the internal conversations, the conversations that are taking place in our minds. It's incredible just how many. And I'm not even sure how researchers measure this, I must say. I'm not even sure how they do it, but researchers measure how many self talk statements or utterances we have in our heads. And on average, it's 55,000 a day. SPEAKER B Wow. That's amazing. You could hardly stop to count all of that. SPEAKER C Wow. Yeah, it is amazing. It is amazing. Surprisingly or unsurprisingly, the challenge is whether those are positive or whether they're negative. And for many of us, researchers are telling us we're looking at nearly 75% of our self talk utterances on a daily basis. Being negative. SPEAKER B That'S a big amount, isn't it? And that's a lot to become aware of, because so often you, like, you're not even aware of what's going on. Like, I mean, sometimes you are, but there's so much just mulling over in the background, it takes some effort to really tune into that. And I recognise what's going on for what it is. SPEAKER C Absolutely. And so before anyone else says anything, it's ourselves that can potentially self sabotage us from taking greater control of their own health and our own well being, because we've got this negative view of ourselves that is deeply embedded, for whatever reason, within us, and that is what's going to hold us back from making that change. So if we've got an intimate partner, if we've got a good friend that we can confide in and be that sounding board to help cheque, what am I saying? Am I coming across as a negative person? Am I coming across as a positive person? The external ones are going to be easier for us to tune into, and with the help of. Of a person that we can confide in is going to be really useful for helping us tune into our own self talk. The conversations that go on in our own minds on a daily basis. So that's really important. The other thing I'd like to make, and maybe just we'll flash that up on the screen as well. That's a practical tip, is to try and memorise an inspiring quote that makes a difference for you. Now, that could be a Bible verse if you're a Christian. It could be another saying of a philosopher, but something that inspires you, that helps you be more positive about your life, where you are right now. It's an amazing way of not only being in tune, but to be proactive in sharing the positivity with others, because it's not only about memorising, but it's memorising with the intent to share that with someone else. SPEAKER B And I guess that will then reflect back on yourself, because you're going to hear yourself share it, and then that will. You'll spend time reflecting on that positive thought as well. And I guess it's kind of feeding all into that more positive thoughts going through your mind. SPEAKER C Well, that's right. And you raised another point that I'd like to make, Kaysie, about not only about positivity going through our minds, but it's becoming in tune with our cues and our triggers. So I quite like this image because I like playing pool. SPEAKER B Yes. SPEAKER C But cues and triggers are really important. And again, I'll borrow from those who have been on the journey to quitting smoking. They've commenced the journey. They may have cut down to maybe three cigarettes a day, and then they will go into the lunch room or they'll go outside to an area where they're frequently going, because it's just a habit they haven't yet identified. Excuse me, the reason why they're going out there, and they now find themselves in an environment where other people are smoking. It's much more difficult to stop smoking if you put yourself in an environment where there is a bunch of triggers all around you, because it's now a familiar smell, it's a familiar environment, and you're trying to say, no, that's not how I see myself anymore. So we've got these environmental factors that influence what we do, and, you know, so there's external triggers, like in that example, there's also internal triggers that we might choose to do something. And often it's subconsciously we make a choice of action based on our hopes and fears to do something. And later going, oh, why did I end up doing this? And it could be as simple as, you know, you bought something in the supermarket that you didn't intend to buy because there was a trigger there maybe a point of advertising, or maybe you'd seen the advertising on tv or on your phone, and you got into the supermarket and you saw it on the shelf and you grabbed it and you weren't even thinking about it, but you now put yourself in an environment. But there was this internal trigger that you responded to, which the way the marketers want us to and buy their product. So we need to be aware of triggers that inform our action or prompt us to take action. And behind that trigger, there's a cue. Now, cues are almost always internal, and this is if we, like, we're building that bridge from hopes and fears into our actions. So those hopes and fears blatantly give a response. And the trigger is maybe internal, maybe external, about why we act the way we do or why we do what we do. But there was a cue that's often a felt need or a desire that we have to act in a particular way. And so this is, again, why it's really important that we come back to understanding who we are in the core of our being and thinking ourselves as we look at. And again, we'll go to those models that we spoke about in our last session. It's like someone who we can model off. It's like, okay, well, I think myself to be like them. I'm going to behave like they behave because they gets the results that I'm looking for. And in that process, I'm believing that I am like the person whom I want to become rather than the person that I have been. SPEAKER B Mm. Wow. That's a real shift, isn't it, in mindset to be, you know, even though in reality, right at that moment, you may not look anywhere near like where you hope to be, but to just say, choose now I'm going to act as if I am. Like, that's a big step. SPEAKER C It is a big step. But we can see this link between how we think and how we act. SPEAKER B Yes, this is true. SPEAKER C And so what we've been talking about is simply becoming in tune with how we think about ourselves. And that's reflected in our self talk, in the talk that we use with others and in our daily choices, behaviours and actions. SPEAKER B Yeah. And in the mix there obviously would also be, like you mentioned, about cues, but that could probably come in the form of feelings, I'm guessing, because that's all in that mix as well. And recognising and distinguishing between all those and being aware of them is a really important thing. SPEAKER C Yeah. So I guess really it's just about looking at I want to redefine smart goals as sequential, meaningful action results in transformation. So bite sized pieces that take us one step on that journey of a thousand miles, but we're going to get to the destination. SPEAKER B Awesome. Thank you so much for sharing all of those gems of wisdom from your experience and I hope and trust that that will be a blessing to our listeners. We've been discussing how to prepare for and activate lifestyle changes with health and lifestyle coach Lorenzo Berry. Change is a critical part of lifestyle medicine and while it is essential, it's often full of challenges. I hope our discussion today and in the previous episode can help equip you for change so you can reach your lifestyle goals. If you have questions or comments about this programme, or if there's a topic you would like us to discuss, then contact us on [email protected]. And remember to shape your lifestyle as medicine. SPEAKER A You've been listening to Your Lifestyle as Medicine, a production of 3ABN Australia television.